We’re a mask-wearing nation now

The old saying about the eyes being the window to the soul has certainly been ringing true for me lately. I wonder if the same is true for you?

A few weeks into the “shelter-in-place” order being followed by most states in an effort to battle Covid-19, we got word from the White House advising everyone to wear some form of face protection while in public. In my San Diego suburb, we’ve taken to the message well as most people I see in public are adhering to this request. Medical masks, bandanas, and scarves have become the norm with the occasional mask-less individual creating a striking contrast!

Covering up can be revealing

Aside from a newly felt cushion of security, one thing quickly became evident: I now have no choice but to look people in the eye. This has brought a new sense of purpose as I’ve been working on that very thing for the last couple of years (that’s not to say I still don’t look people in the mask on occasion!).

Another important realization is that my greatest form of communication with people is going to be how I use my eyes. I might be sporting a big smile, but my eyes could be showing a different picture.

At this moment in America (and the world), our eyes bear the brunt of the first impression people have of us. How do you think you’re doing?

That’s a question I now ask myself every time I shop.

Communicating with your eyes

You may not realize that when you smile, you are probably not thinking about what your eyes are doing.

Legendary model Tyra Banks invented the term “Smize” to describe the act of consciously smiling with one’s eyes. That technique has gone from the runway to the produce department as now each of us are needing to be cognizant of how and what we are communicating when crossing paths with others.

I’ve taken this to heart and have started to use this technique. My first area of focus was on grocery store workers. Given the weight of the current situation on them, I make sure that I smize every time I catch their gaze; that and thanking them for their service. I then turned my attention to other shoppers. In each case, I’m making sure that my eyes are at least matching my smile. Once you’re aware of it, it becomes natural.

There’s another important behavior developing from looking at people in this way and that is the ability to see others on a more spiritual level – a soul level. I’m no longer contented to simply assume I know someone; I’m making myself look deeper. And even if I’m not connecting with others through a look, I make sure to observe the eyes of as many as I can.

Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes you don’t like what you see! I’ve observed an abundant mix of fear and uncertainty, outright panic, anger, annoyance, resolve, and contentment. Others seem truly happy to be with their neighbors while waiting for 10 minutes to enter a supermarket. Occasionally, you’re rewarded with something truly inspiring – like the lady I passed by (at 6 feet away, of course!) singing, “I Can See Clearly” along with the store’s PA.

There’s also a lot of beauty in people that can be realized if you really pay attention.

My inner work

This experience is bringing into focus how unfocused my perception of people has been when too much information is presented, such as a slight frown diverting my attention away from what are otherwise happy eyes.

Finally, my priority in interacting with people is shifting. I’m wanting more and more to be a positive presence when people look at me.

I can tell you, almost every store worker I’ve encounter is doing an amazing job with their smize technique! And they are among those who are on the front lines of the epidemic. If they can communicate calm and stability when they look at me, I can certainly be a positive force for others!

The big questions

We might think that donning a mask or other face covering provides us a new-found anonymity; but in truth, our eyes reveal everything about us.

What are you noticing in the eyes of America right now?

With what eyes are you looking at others? Anger? Compassion? Empathy?

When this is all over and you can be face-to-face with others again, how do you think your communication with them will have changed? What messages have your eyes been sending them prior to the quarantine and what messages will they send now?

This is an unprecedented moment in time, to be able to work on our non-verbal communication with others. For how long, we don’t know.

But eventually, the masks will come off!